Monday, April 27, 2009


Sooner or later, in every group of women you spend any amount of time with, the conversation will turn to one of two things: child birth or periods. I've been around here now for just over three years so that qualifies you to know the following: Kathryn was a c-section birth after 20 hours of non-productive labor. There.

On to the second topic. I stopped taking a certain medication (at the direction of and with the blessing of my physician) in early February. I'm 51. I REALLY just might be the only person I know who WANTS to go through menopause even with its freaky side effects just so MAYBE my migraines MIGHT get better. So I missed a period and thought: "YES! I just slid right through and now I'm on the other side of menopause!" Then . . . another, sickening, hellish sort of thought came upon me. Because, I remembered that of all the warnings the nice lady doctor gave me about going off said medication, I forgot one. One REALLY big one. One really, super, big, protective one. And let me just tell you, I have never prayed so hard for a period in my whole fraking life.

So now I'm in so new kind of hell. One where I fear leaving the house. One that feels like "back labor" (for the record - I did experience this, so I know of what I speak!) 20 hours of the day. I'm a wimp; I've never "had" to feel this way. How much longer will this go on?

I feel like that old guy in the diner - the one who wears his jeans with both a belt AND suspenders - just in case one system fails!