Words that Strike Fear

I'm a simple girl. I'm casual. I like my jeans and t-shirts. I prefer socks and boots to anything resembling "hosiery" and "heels". Getting "dressed up" for me is a long skirt (black), white blouse (not tucked in as that seems to be the current style) , some sort of sweater thing, boots - with a heel because I'm short. Done. Ready to go. Any occasion.

So...along comes Jon's company's 10 year anniversary. This weekend. Big shindig. He is the Master of Ceremonies. Care to guess what the dress is for the big soiree? Yea - you probably already figured it out. If you want to scare the crap out of me you can do it with two words:

BLACK TIE!

Worse: BLACK TIE OPTIONAL

I just hate it. Hate it! It's so far out of my comfort zone. Add to it that this is Minnesota and we don't do black tie well here. There will be khaki. There will be jeans. There will be open-toed shoes with beige colored, sandal-toed hose. There will be those who assume black tie means dress like a hooker and those who assume it means bring a hooker as your date.

Where does this leave me - besides pissed that because he is the emcee I'll have to sit by myself for most of the evening? I went through my closet. I have nothing. NOTHING!!! Since I quit the corporate world more than 6 years ago my wardrobe has really taken a downward turn. The little black dress from 10 years ago (my then company's 10 year anniversary) seems a little dated and well, two sizes too big. I just can't see spending money on a new outfit that I'll wear once. This sucks. Can't I just stay home? Remember the last function and the Raspberry Martinis? Why do you have to be a big wig? God I hope Mary and Anne are there at least.

Which stage is acceptance? OK Deb, work the problem. A quick phone call to La Jolla where my "fancy" sister lives. I knew she could talk me down from the clock tower. She went through her closet, picked out several outfits, photographed them, e-mailed the photos, called me, we narrowed down the choices. The package arrived today. It came complete with purse and earrings appropriate for any of the choices. Would you like to see what I selected??

Looks kind of like the long black skirt and blouse thing doesn't it!! Trust me, the purse and earrings makes the outfit. If you look real close you can see her cute little toes in the picture of the blouse. I actually own a teal wrap that matches. Probably can get by without anything resembling hose because the skirt is long enough; already own some kind of black shoe that will work. Only cost me the cost of sending it all back!! Having a sister with really nice clothes: priceless!!

Fine. I'll go.